27 September 2008

JOKING AROUND


My all-time favorite joke goes something like this:

Not feeling well, a husband visits his doctor to have his symptoms examined. The doctor regrettably announces that the man has a very rare and extremely terminal disease--having less than 24 hours to live. Shocked, the man goes directly home to tell his wife.

She throws her arms around him and says, "Honey, whatever you want. Just tell me. Anything."

Well, of course, he wants sex. So... and... and... and...

Exhausted the wife pushes him away and says, "Look, SOME OF US have to get up in the morning..."

And, why are farts so funny? Do we laugh to cover embarrassment? Men are oblivious and most women just don't fart. We grew up instucted to say we had passed gas! So very proper in our dysfunctionally, straight-laced family. My young son would never ever admit to it, even if we were the only ones in the car and I was frantically rolling down windows in order to survive through the next intersection. He shed tears of denial.

My late brother-in-law Art was the champion. One visit he was dozing on the couch--me at the other end--when he let one rip! As I exclaimed indelicately he chuckled from his slumber. A few Christmases later I presented him with a sleeping bear pillowcase that says, "Sleeping is an art." My sister JL says that he grew up hearing, "Gene, Gene made a machine. Joe, Joe made it go. Art, Art let a fart and blew it apart." I doubt he was even embarrassed. Boys aren't.

And, poop fascinates guys. I was middle-aged before I heard my nephew say that he was going to drop a few kids off at the pool. How clever! We were taught to say that we had to "move my bowels." Give me a break! Who teaches little kid to say something like that? JL says its the appropriate medical description... Still, my kids grew up saying, appropriately, "poop" or "#2."

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