Sometimes life just happens--the good, the bad, the ugly. This past six months have been over-full with the not-so-good, the bad, and some real ugly in our family.
To be clear--there have been times of joy and continuing reasons for thankfulness. Much good. Yet, it's so difficult to watch and experience aging parents, struggling siblings. Helping, supporting, encouraging just isn't enough. Sometimes there are no answers, no good solutions. Sometimes you just have to watch life unravel, get messy.
Faith helps, but change and resolution does not always come quickly, or at all. I remember having heard someone pose this scenario--from God's perspective--"Can you continue to trust me through this experience even if I never tell you why?"
One of my primary prayers during these extended family struggles has been. "Change me, dear Lord." Because I know that I cannot change others. I may have a smidgen of influence, but I can't expect parents or siblings to conduct their lives, make decisions "my way." And, God's ways are not my ways. My wisdom is not his. He uses all--the good, the bad, the ugly--for his ultimate will. To grow us, to shape us, to prepare us for the life he's given us.